Lazy Pirate Boat Party Malta: what the night actually looks like

Lazy Pirate runs every Friday and Saturday on the Fernandes II — a proper wooden gulet, not a generic party catamaran — and it's been doing this long enough to have earned its reputation. Open bar the moment you board, a DJ that builds as the night goes on, 200-odd people from every corner of Europe, and a swim stop in the dark Mediterranean. It is exactly as chaotic and fun as it sounds.

It is not polished and it is not pretending to be. Book it because you want one of those holiday nights that moves fast, sounds loud, and still somehow makes complete sense when you look back on it the next morning.

Meeting point is Sliema Ferries, opposite The Black Sheep bar, at 18:30 — that's where you collect your ticket and board. The Fernandes II leaves at 19:00. The first stretch is the best-looking one: heading west into the sunset, open bar already running, getting a read on who else is on board.

The DJ builds as the sun drops. Later in the evening the boat anchors for the swim stop — more on that below. After that the music picks back up and you cruise back into Sliema around midnight. Clean timing: the boat party ends, and Paceville is right there if you want it.

The bar opens when you board and stays open until you're back on the dock — about five hours. What's on it: vodka, tequila, rum, whisky, beer (often Cisk, Malta's local lager), wine, and sangria. Snacks and fruit come around during the evening.

One thing worth knowing: when the bar gets busy there can be a short queue. Get your first drink as soon as you're on board, before everyone settles in, and you'll have a much easier time for the rest of the night. And eat before you go — the snacks are snacks, not dinner.

This is what comes up in every review, and it's deserved. At some point after dark the boat drops anchor, the music dials back a notch, and everyone's in the water. The Mediterranean in summer is warm enough to swim comfortably at night. The water is black, the stars are usually out, the lit-up gulet is floating above you, and for about twenty minutes you're just there in the sea, wondering how you got so lucky with this holiday.

The exact location changes depending on conditions — sometimes closer to Comino, sometimes along the coast. It doesn't really matter. Bring a towel.

About 200 people, mostly tourists in their 20s and early 30s, heavily international, a lot of English spoken. A mix of stag and hen groups, solo travellers, pairs, groups of friends from different countries. The fact that everyone is there for exactly the same reason makes it very easy to talk to people you've never met.

The DJ area at the back fills up as the night goes on. If you want to move freely, grab a spot towards the front at boarding. If you want to be in the middle of the energy, the back is where the night happens. Both are good — just different vibes.

Keep it simple. The boat does the rest.

• A towel — you'll want it for the swim stop
• A light layer for the return journey — it cools down on the water after dark
• Sandals that are fine getting wet
• Your booking confirmation (downloaded beforehand)
• Nothing glass — bottles are not allowed on board
• Cannabis isn't for the boat — Malta's public rules are strict; keep those two separate

If you're going on a Saturday in summer, check whether your date connects with the FLIRT Foam Party at Aria Complex. It runs from around 22:00, which is perfect timing off the back of a midnight boat return — foam cannons, pool areas, a massive outdoor setup, and a crowd that overlaps a lot with who you just spent five hours with on the water.

Some Saturday Lazy Pirate bookings include transport to Aria. Even if yours doesn't, it's an easy call: get off the boat in Sliema, find a taxi with people you just met, and keep going. The night is already started.